Through Bullets and Dreams
I lived in a difficult situation and experienced the feeling of war as a child. One day, my friends and I were walking to school and arrived in a place where a war had started between the Taliban and the republican government. We couldn’t escape, so we hid in a corner of the destroyed wall. We were on shooting ground, and bullets came and hit around us. It continued this way for half an hour. Though I cannot remember my own feelings, I am sure that I was scared because it was my first and strange experience as a 9-year-old child. Living in Afghanistan, I have seen the same situations many more times. Now, after 8 years, when I remember that time, I start crying because of the situations in which we were trying to learn.
August 15th 2021, when the Taliban took control of Afghanistan, the situation for girls became much harder and unbearable. After meeting the Taliban and hearing their restriction announcements, I had nightmares about the Taliban every night where they cut my head, tore up my books, killed me several times, then told me, “Learning for girls is not a right but a disgrace; that is why we don’t allow you to learn. We are doing our best only for your safety.”
In these last two dark years, I can say that the Taliban tried their best to bury our dreams and change us into an obedient generation of fools. However, unlike girls who gave up after the Taliban took over, I am still working, have strong motivation to learn, and don’t let the Taliban change me. When the Taliban banned all educational centers for girls, I started an online university in UoPeople, but because we don't have Wi-Fi at home and it cost too much money to pay for the internet, I could continue it only for two terms. However, I finished my school secretly in a private school in Kabul, where teachers have been taking the risk against the Taliban to keep teaching girls. We were always careful not to cause any strange reactions on the street, lest the Taliban realize. One of my most painful memories is having to leave school using a rear door anytime the Taliban came to inspect the school, which happened once or twice a week.
Beside my schooling, I work in a private library in Kabul managing the library, communicating with people of different ages, helping them to find any book they want, writing book profiles in a database, and arranging them on relevant shelves in order to help my family with daily life expenses. Reading is my favorite hobby, and this has also been a good opportunity for me to read books I want at no cost, such as Wuthering Heights, Blindness and Seeing, and The Alchemist. I am risking my life to attend two hours of a secret English class called, EmpowerEd Afghan, and fill out the requirements for applying to international colleges. Finally, my parents are both illiterate, so I help my younger siblings with their schooling, instruct them how to do the housework, and help them understand how to behave with people. In these last two years with the Taliban, I did my best to not let my sisters feel disappointed or think everything was finished.
With all these responsibilities, I am continuing strongly to achieve all the goals I have set for my future. During the coronavirus outbreak, I lost one of my friends because the doctor was busy and didn’t have time to come and visit her. That is why I am interested in majoring in medicine. I want to become a doctor, and I am planning to join the Doctors Without Borders group to help the people who need it most. I am hopeful about the future, and seeing myself with a doctor's white uniform.
By Begom
