Maryam’s Story
By Nadira Talayee
I was born in Kabul, Afghanistan, into a large family with a kind mother and six siblings. I lost my father to cancer when I was eight, and I consider his loss one of the worst periods of my life. However, I am thankful to my mother and older brother for having my back in all the decisions I have made. I don't know what our family would have done without my mother. I believe the saying that "a child becomes a true orphan from losing a mother."
My journey to education has been a rough one. At the age of six, when I dreamt of going to school, my family parted ways. While my parents, two of my brothers, and I moved to our village, two of my siblings stayed in Kabul. In the village, I couldn't go to school for two years. We returned to Kabul after my father passed away. His death made my mother and us dependent on others. With the help of one of our relatives to pay for my tuition, I enrolled in Pegah High School. I was so happy because my siblings and I finally got a chance to continue our education. Moreover, I am so happy that I am a member of the EmpowerEd Afghan community and can continue my education.
However, in the back of my mind, there is always a fear of losing the chance for an education. Unlike other students whose fathers pay their tuition, I am afraid that if I don't do well in school, no one will continue to pay for my tuition. On the other hand, there is the fear of the Taliban. I feel like I grew up with them. For sixteen years of my life, I always had the fear of them taking over and closing the schools for girls. However, in the past two years, I have been living it. Currently, I am 18 years old and in 11th grade. I go to school secretly, close the windows, play my guitar at home, write daily journals, and sometimes, write short stories and take pictures of nature and my surroundings when the eyes of the Taliban are not watching.
Why did you choose arts (music, writing, and photography)?
I loved listening to music and writing from a young age. My passion for music and art all started from a few pictures and listening to songs on the radio. I remember stealing my brother's Nokia phone to listen to music. I don't know where I found a few pictures of Selena Gomez. I was in awe of why people loved her so much and how she got so famous. Music and songs have been my company through the hardest times of my life, whether coping with losing my dad, the stress and anxiety from school, or life under the Taliban. I have found music to be powerful. It takes me to a different world. In 7th grade, I was introduced to my school's office for learning to play guitar at Afghanistan's National Institute of Music. Besides my passion for music, writing has been a part of me. I started writing short stories in 4th grade. Writing was also a way to express myself and share things I couldn't tell others with a notebook.
How is life under the Taliban for you now?
Limiting and sad. I have been stopped by the Taliban twice. Once when I was photographing with my phone and the second time when they saw me carrying books in my hand. My second encounter haunts me to this day. When returning from school, a Talib soldier yelled at me from far away, "What are the books I am carrying?" I was carrying my school books: Literature, Chemistry, and Physics. Suddenly his scream had brought in a crowd of men who surrounded me. I was scared not only for my life but also because if they found out that I went to school, the lives of all the girls and the school officials would be in danger. I expected that one of the men from the crowd would back me up and resolve the situation, but there was complete silence with eyes looking at me accusingly. I lied to them that my brother had forgotten his books and I was taking them to him. I am still frustrated because none of the men were brave enough to speak up, and I was dressed in long clothes with my hair covered. They had stopped me because they had seen the books in my hands.
How are you personally resisting/challenging the Taliban?
I am hopeful, and that, in itself, is resistance. I continue to read books, play my guitar, and go to school secretly. I have gotten into the habit of writing journals. I also haven't given up on my dreams yet. Sometimes I close my eyes and think about a day in the future when I am in front of a big crowd of people, perhaps giving a concert. However, this time they are not scrutinizing me or condemning me with their looks. Perhaps it's the same people, the same crowd that was silent when a Talib stopped me. However, this time they are loud and proud. They are cheering me and calling my name. I have thought about it well!
